I was ecstatic when I was 8 years old and finally became a big sister! I was so proud to be a big sister! I didn't get to see my little sister much because she lived in another state and I only visited them a couple times a year. A couple years later I became a big sister again ..... 2 separate times. My mom and step dad had a son and my dad and step mom had another daughter. I was so happy to have little sisters. I had seen and heard about this awesome relationship and desired a closeness with a sibling like that.
For me though, as we all grew up, that is not how it worked out. Our relationship did not grow closer and it did not grow stronger. In fact, I feel like we live on different planets most of the time. My sister is expecting her second child and didn't even call me to let me know! I only happened to find out because our great grandpa passed away and saw her while home for the funeral. I could not imagine not telling someone in my family such amazing news!
So now, to my son reliving my childhood. I wanted 3 maybe 4 kids! We have had a hard time having children. I have PCOS and it makes it rather difficult to have a baby naturally. I took medication for three months and conceived in April of 2003. I lost that baby in July at 16 weeks. Heartbroken I thought it was going to be a lost cause and I would never be a mom. My Dr. assured me it was nothing I had done or wrong specifically why my baby died, it was a freak incident. So we went through it all again and 4 months after starting the medication again we were pregnant in July of 2004! Our Noah Rhylee was born in February 2005 and I was ready to have another baby a year or so after he was born. We have taken medication on and off over the last 8 years and have not had success. Our son has asked for a brother or sister many times and it breaks my heart. He has an older brother (16) and sister (14) but honestly they are annoyed by him more often than not. They are only here a couple days a week and he misses them terribly when they are gone. They get here and he just wants to be with them and it seems they want nothing to do with him. At this point if I were to have another baby, Noah is in the same place I was. He is 8 years younger than his big brother and he would be 9 years older than a new sibling. That is such a large age gap, how can they ever be close? I wanted so much more for my child(ren) than I had but I feel like I have failed. I have set my son up to not have a close relationship with his siblings because of the age gap. Is there a way to help them grow and stay close? I want them to always have each other no matter what because at the end of the day family is the most important in life.
I love my family so much. I have cryed to many times to count because I want to be close again. My aunts and uncles and cousins are all so close. They live in the same town they all grew up in so its easy to stay connected and hang out at a moments notice. They take family vacations together.
My prayer tonight for my son is that he always have someone other than his mom and dad to go to at anytime for anything. He is the greatest gift I have been given and deserves nothing but the best! <3 p="">
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I am the youngest in a blended family...10 kids total. The age gap starts at 6 1/2 years and ranges to 30 years. There's no way to force a relationship with someone. My closest siblings are 13 and 15 years older than me. Now that I'm "an adult", we couldn't be closer. We share stories about kids, travel, memories, and advice. Don't stress it, your son will find the bonds he needs when the time is right. I promise.
Post a Comment