WOW......... where has this year gone? I cant believe that in a matter of hours it will be 2011!
I have made my share of the same old mistakes in life, year after year. I feel like this year is the YEAR! The year that I finally get it right! I am turning 30 and have nothing to show for my life and it is really depressing.
I am so thankful for what I have been given and for what I have but I am no longer content with this life. There is bigger and better things for me and my family ahead and I am ready to receive/attain them all.
Starting with financially! Whatever I have to do this year I will do so that I do not have to struggle to even provide the basics for my kids! They deserve so much more than that and they are gonna get it. Although I don't really want to I have come to the conclusion that I will probably have to go back to work but if it pays the bills then so be it! I will do until I don't have to!
The other main focus of this year is my health and weight. I am very obese for my height and it has got to go once and for all! I cant play with my kids like I want to and I feel like a beached whale some days! My weight also has played havoc on my body by messing up my female system. I so desperately want to have another baby but I cant like this. I need to loose at least about 40 - 50 pounds before I should even consider a pregnancy. I have more than that to loose to be ideal body weight but that would be a good start for me. I hope to be able to get a scholarship to our local YMCA to have a place to work out. That would be so great! If not or until it happens I will have to deal with what we have at home and make it work.
I have tryed and failed so many times at loosing weight but I am really at a point now that if I don't start to get rid of all of this I could end up with more problems and I don't want that for me or for my family to deal with.
I will achieve this, this is MY YEAR!!
So may you have a happy, prosperous, and BLESSED 2011!!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Where is "home" really?.......
So we were blessed with the opportunity to go "home" to Michigan for Christmas this year. I was so excited!! I had not seen my family since the end of July and was really looking forward to seeing them. We knew we would stay at my moms house for where we would sleep. We got there late on Thursday and my mom wasn't there. Which was fine because it was late. On Christmas Eve I saw her for about and hour or two. She had stayed at her boyfriends house and came home long enough really to shower and get dressed for a party and church. Jeremy, Noah and I were heading to my dads family get together at my uncles house. It was a BLAST!! They always know how to have a good time!
As much fun as I had there though I was really bummed that I did not get to see my mom much. She is my mom and I love her and wanted to be with her. So during the few days around Christmas I learned a lot about "home".
My mom gets mad that I don't stay at her place a lot when I vi st lately......... this is why! If she is not going to be there, then why do I need to be there? I feel like I should be with my family that appreciates me making the trip home 5 hours to see them. If you cant make time for a couple days for me then why do I come visit?
So I decided that Christmas day we would get up and take Noah's gifts to my grandparents house to open there. They were excited to see him open his gifts from Santa........ they haven't seen that in years!
So I have had to learn through time that home isn't always home. That is what you think is home changes. Right now for me and my family in Michigan it feels like home at my dads parents house. From now on I think that is where we will stay. Not that I don't love my mom cause I love her dearly but her priorities are at a different place than me when we are in town. Maybe some day it will change but for now I know where home is............
As much fun as I had there though I was really bummed that I did not get to see my mom much. She is my mom and I love her and wanted to be with her. So during the few days around Christmas I learned a lot about "home".
My mom gets mad that I don't stay at her place a lot when I vi st lately......... this is why! If she is not going to be there, then why do I need to be there? I feel like I should be with my family that appreciates me making the trip home 5 hours to see them. If you cant make time for a couple days for me then why do I come visit?
So I decided that Christmas day we would get up and take Noah's gifts to my grandparents house to open there. They were excited to see him open his gifts from Santa........ they haven't seen that in years!
So I have had to learn through time that home isn't always home. That is what you think is home changes. Right now for me and my family in Michigan it feels like home at my dads parents house. From now on I think that is where we will stay. Not that I don't love my mom cause I love her dearly but her priorities are at a different place than me when we are in town. Maybe some day it will change but for now I know where home is............
CHRISTMAS!!
This year Christmas was very different for the Schalk household. We have been slow with work and don't always make the best financial decisions which landed us in the most awful place to be at the holidays especially....... BROKE!! We had no means of buying anything, not even for our children and it broke my heart. Money has been tight before but we have always been able to pull it out at the last minute and have gifts under the tree.
Now I know what you are saying, Christmas isn't about the gifts, and I totally agree but for a child to wake up to a completely bare tree on the night after Santa is supposed to come is heartbreaking!
Joshua's birthday is the 20th and he turned 14! I can't believe it. We always go to dinner which we did courtesy of Jeremy's mom and Josh's mom and her friend also came. They had not done their gift exchange with their little kids yet so they brought their gifts to dinner. When they started opening their gifts before we left Josh's little sister got a Cars color changing car. Noah instantly loved it and wanted it. My heart was in a million pieces!!
I had nothing to tell him other than it was not his. I could not say " Santa will be here in a couple days maybe he will bring you one", I had nothing....... and that sucked as a parent! I had failed as a provider of my kids needs. So we ended up heading to the car while everyone else finished before we left. As we are sitting in the car and he keeps repeating while crying how much he wants one of those cars he abruptly stops! He looks at me and says, " I know mommy, I can pray to God, God will bring me one!" I burst into tears as I sat listening to the first real prayer I have every heard from my son......... " God, can you please bring me a car that changes colors in the water, and can you tell Santa to bring me one? AMEN" .........
I was speechless!! What on earth was I going to do if I could not get him a color changing car to go under the Christmas tree? What would happen to his faith? Would he believe?
Later that evening I had to message the older kids mom and explain to her why I left without saying bye, I felt so rude when I ran out but didn't want to break down in the restaurant.
The next morning she sends me a message and says that she talked to her co-workers and told them about our situation and that they were getting gifts together for us to give to Noah on Christmas morning from Santa!! It was a modern day miracle that people we don't even really know were going to provide something for our son that we could not! I was blown away! Why would someone do that for us? We aren't the best parents. We mess up financially all the time! We did not deserve any of that! But my son did! He had the faith to believe that it could be done!
They brought so many gifts for him. I was in tears!!
On top of that I really wanted to go home but knew we didn't have the gas money to do that either. So one of my mothers friends said she would send me a gas card so that I could be with my family for Christmas! Well my mother sent the card on December 10th! We were on vacation from the 13th -18th in Tennessee with Jeremy's mom courtesy of her! When we got home I was expecting it to be here but it wasn't. As it got closer to Christmas and when we would leave it never came.
So now Diana has talked to more people at her work and someone donated a gas card in the amount that my moms friend sent so we could get there and back! Another blessing that I was so unworthy of. Why would God do something like this for me. I fail him daily and didn't deserve any of this!
These many CHRISTmas blessings that have been bestowed upon my family has shown my how much my heavenly father does love me! I have seen in a tangible way that he really doesn't leave us and doesn't forsake us! That as many times as I screw up he still loves me!
So now we are onto Christmas day. It was great seeing my baby have gifts to open. At the end of the day though I got frustrated! Noah looked at us and said the stuff he got was not on his Christmas list! There is only one toy that he could come up with that he didn't get that he wanted which was Stinky the Garbage Truck. Well I'm not sure that I want him to have it anyway. LOL!
So then we had to have a discussion about being thankful for what we have been given as gifts and that some kids don't get any gifts. I told him if he so unhappy with the gifts he was given that I could call Santa to come pick up all the gifts and give them to someone else. Noah's response was, "when he picks up these tell him to bring what I wanted!" Are you kidding me??? I could not believe I was hearing this out of his mouth!! So then I had to kindly explain that if Santa has to come pick up your gifts there is no trading, you end up with nothing! At that point he decided what he got was OK.
I am praying and trying to plan so that next year at this time we don't end up with a similar story. I want the best for my kids. Not that I want to buy them but I want them to have some things!
Merry CHRISTmas!!
Now I know what you are saying, Christmas isn't about the gifts, and I totally agree but for a child to wake up to a completely bare tree on the night after Santa is supposed to come is heartbreaking!
Joshua's birthday is the 20th and he turned 14! I can't believe it. We always go to dinner which we did courtesy of Jeremy's mom and Josh's mom and her friend also came. They had not done their gift exchange with their little kids yet so they brought their gifts to dinner. When they started opening their gifts before we left Josh's little sister got a Cars color changing car. Noah instantly loved it and wanted it. My heart was in a million pieces!!
I had nothing to tell him other than it was not his. I could not say " Santa will be here in a couple days maybe he will bring you one", I had nothing....... and that sucked as a parent! I had failed as a provider of my kids needs. So we ended up heading to the car while everyone else finished before we left. As we are sitting in the car and he keeps repeating while crying how much he wants one of those cars he abruptly stops! He looks at me and says, " I know mommy, I can pray to God, God will bring me one!" I burst into tears as I sat listening to the first real prayer I have every heard from my son......... " God, can you please bring me a car that changes colors in the water, and can you tell Santa to bring me one? AMEN" .........
I was speechless!! What on earth was I going to do if I could not get him a color changing car to go under the Christmas tree? What would happen to his faith? Would he believe?
Later that evening I had to message the older kids mom and explain to her why I left without saying bye, I felt so rude when I ran out but didn't want to break down in the restaurant.
The next morning she sends me a message and says that she talked to her co-workers and told them about our situation and that they were getting gifts together for us to give to Noah on Christmas morning from Santa!! It was a modern day miracle that people we don't even really know were going to provide something for our son that we could not! I was blown away! Why would someone do that for us? We aren't the best parents. We mess up financially all the time! We did not deserve any of that! But my son did! He had the faith to believe that it could be done!
They brought so many gifts for him. I was in tears!!
On top of that I really wanted to go home but knew we didn't have the gas money to do that either. So one of my mothers friends said she would send me a gas card so that I could be with my family for Christmas! Well my mother sent the card on December 10th! We were on vacation from the 13th -18th in Tennessee with Jeremy's mom courtesy of her! When we got home I was expecting it to be here but it wasn't. As it got closer to Christmas and when we would leave it never came.
So now Diana has talked to more people at her work and someone donated a gas card in the amount that my moms friend sent so we could get there and back! Another blessing that I was so unworthy of. Why would God do something like this for me. I fail him daily and didn't deserve any of this!
These many CHRISTmas blessings that have been bestowed upon my family has shown my how much my heavenly father does love me! I have seen in a tangible way that he really doesn't leave us and doesn't forsake us! That as many times as I screw up he still loves me!
So now we are onto Christmas day. It was great seeing my baby have gifts to open. At the end of the day though I got frustrated! Noah looked at us and said the stuff he got was not on his Christmas list! There is only one toy that he could come up with that he didn't get that he wanted which was Stinky the Garbage Truck. Well I'm not sure that I want him to have it anyway. LOL!
So then we had to have a discussion about being thankful for what we have been given as gifts and that some kids don't get any gifts. I told him if he so unhappy with the gifts he was given that I could call Santa to come pick up all the gifts and give them to someone else. Noah's response was, "when he picks up these tell him to bring what I wanted!" Are you kidding me??? I could not believe I was hearing this out of his mouth!! So then I had to kindly explain that if Santa has to come pick up your gifts there is no trading, you end up with nothing! At that point he decided what he got was OK.
I am praying and trying to plan so that next year at this time we don't end up with a similar story. I want the best for my kids. Not that I want to buy them but I want them to have some things!
Merry CHRISTmas!!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Changes in Life......
There have been a lot of changes in our lives lately at the Schalk household. For starters we have TWO children now in junior high! When did this happen? Brooke is enjoying it so far. Both are doing well in their classes and both have at least one advanced class.
The biggest change though for me is that my baby boy is in KINDERGARTEN!! I can not believe how fast the time has gone by these past 5 yrs and it makes me sad but excited at the same time. I am sad cause I miss the days of having a "baby" but so very excited to see the young boy he is growing to become. We are doing online public school with him and he is doing great so far! He loves it. We are still trying to get set in a routine but I know it will come. He has his first field trip this Friday to Sports Ohio in Columbus and he is so excited to meet his teacher!!
We have some major behavior changes we are all working on, such as our attitudes, the way in which we talk to one another, and the choices of words we let come out of our mouths. We are working on making all of those better choices.
We are getting involved again back into a lot of church functions which I am really looking forward to along with having our new senior pastor Drew Wilkerson! He has been such a blessing to me I know in the few short months that he has been here and what God has in store for First Church of God I am sure is nothing but amazing!! Josh is doing the sound in Kidstuf, Brooke and I are Kidstuf singers again, I am teaching once a month the crafts for the Sunday school classes, Jeremy is going to be doing a mens bible study again, I am doing a womens bible study, Josh is going to try out for the junior high and high school Christmas play, and Noah and Brooke are doing the childrens musical!! Wow thats a lot!! We love every minute of it though.
Most recently I have been so proud of Josh and his decision to live for Jesus and follow him! Last Sunday September 5th he prayed the prayer and I couldnt be more proud. I hope that he learns all he can and that he does live a life pleasing to God! That is my prayer for all 3 of the kids here and Andrew!
Noah and Brooke are both playing soccer this year which they are loving and doing good at. Josh made the school golf team and has played in one match, didnt do so good in it but he hasnt even played 10 times!!! He was so mad at himself but he is doing good for never really playing. We are trying to get him to understand that it is to be expected to not do so well but he wouldnt hear of it.
Jeremy and I are making some life decisions to work on a plan to really get out of here. I am very greatful that we have been able to live here with his parents but this really is not working for us and our children. I know it works for some but not for this family. There is non stop arguing and yelling and it is just not healthy for us or our children! So we have decided that I will get a part time job at night and save my money to get us out of here. I have not wanted to work for a while now but knowing that this will help get me and my family on our own I am ready and willing. I will still be doing Noahs schooling in the daytime and then going to work hopefully in the evening a couple of days. I have a place in mind but I will let you know if and when things happen.
So in closing of this really long a bunch of stuff mess I am so greatful that I have healthy children and a husband who loves me unconditionally. I am really going to try and update more frequently.
The biggest change though for me is that my baby boy is in KINDERGARTEN!! I can not believe how fast the time has gone by these past 5 yrs and it makes me sad but excited at the same time. I am sad cause I miss the days of having a "baby" but so very excited to see the young boy he is growing to become. We are doing online public school with him and he is doing great so far! He loves it. We are still trying to get set in a routine but I know it will come. He has his first field trip this Friday to Sports Ohio in Columbus and he is so excited to meet his teacher!!
We have some major behavior changes we are all working on, such as our attitudes, the way in which we talk to one another, and the choices of words we let come out of our mouths. We are working on making all of those better choices.
We are getting involved again back into a lot of church functions which I am really looking forward to along with having our new senior pastor Drew Wilkerson! He has been such a blessing to me I know in the few short months that he has been here and what God has in store for First Church of God I am sure is nothing but amazing!! Josh is doing the sound in Kidstuf, Brooke and I are Kidstuf singers again, I am teaching once a month the crafts for the Sunday school classes, Jeremy is going to be doing a mens bible study again, I am doing a womens bible study, Josh is going to try out for the junior high and high school Christmas play, and Noah and Brooke are doing the childrens musical!! Wow thats a lot!! We love every minute of it though.
Most recently I have been so proud of Josh and his decision to live for Jesus and follow him! Last Sunday September 5th he prayed the prayer and I couldnt be more proud. I hope that he learns all he can and that he does live a life pleasing to God! That is my prayer for all 3 of the kids here and Andrew!
Noah and Brooke are both playing soccer this year which they are loving and doing good at. Josh made the school golf team and has played in one match, didnt do so good in it but he hasnt even played 10 times!!! He was so mad at himself but he is doing good for never really playing. We are trying to get him to understand that it is to be expected to not do so well but he wouldnt hear of it.
Jeremy and I are making some life decisions to work on a plan to really get out of here. I am very greatful that we have been able to live here with his parents but this really is not working for us and our children. I know it works for some but not for this family. There is non stop arguing and yelling and it is just not healthy for us or our children! So we have decided that I will get a part time job at night and save my money to get us out of here. I have not wanted to work for a while now but knowing that this will help get me and my family on our own I am ready and willing. I will still be doing Noahs schooling in the daytime and then going to work hopefully in the evening a couple of days. I have a place in mind but I will let you know if and when things happen.
So in closing of this really long a bunch of stuff mess I am so greatful that I have healthy children and a husband who loves me unconditionally. I am really going to try and update more frequently.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
January 10, 2010
So, I have the worst memory in the world. My baby is almost 5 and the realization of a bad memory has really kicked in while trying to remember all the milestones! I feel like such a bad parent that I cant remember them. So, my goal in 2010 is to take pictures everyday and blog everyday, then I will have memories!
Today Noah I were not feeling well. We went to church, then to the chinese buffet (one of our favorite places), then home. Since we werent feeling well, mommy and Noah snuggled up on the couch and watched cartoons. Mommy fell asleep and missed a jewelry show she wanted to go to.
When I woke up the first thing Noah asked was when were going sledding because we had told him a couple days ago we would take but still had not made it out.
So, even though I felt awful, I bundeled up Noah and myself so that I could make sure I had pictures of the first snow of the year for Noah. Jeremy got him self bundled and we went around the corner to his old school cause they have a really big hill.
Noah had a blast.
We started him on a little hill, then i little bigger one, then the BIG one. He was so excited and I felt good that I finally got him out in the snow. I was afraid with this stupid weather that it might melt all of a sudden or something.
Anyway, so then we took a couple customers cars home and had dinner.
So there is today. It is so late and I am going to bed.
I had to go
Today Noah I were not feeling well. We went to church, then to the chinese buffet (one of our favorite places), then home. Since we werent feeling well, mommy and Noah snuggled up on the couch and watched cartoons. Mommy fell asleep and missed a jewelry show she wanted to go to.
When I woke up the first thing Noah asked was when were going sledding because we had told him a couple days ago we would take but still had not made it out.
So, even though I felt awful, I bundeled up Noah and myself so that I could make sure I had pictures of the first snow of the year for Noah. Jeremy got him self bundled and we went around the corner to his old school cause they have a really big hill.
Noah had a blast.
We started him on a little hill, then i little bigger one, then the BIG one. He was so excited and I felt good that I finally got him out in the snow. I was afraid with this stupid weather that it might melt all of a sudden or something.
Anyway, so then we took a couple customers cars home and had dinner.
So there is today. It is so late and I am going to bed.
I had to go
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